we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Floor bacon is actually really good
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
