He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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