At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
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