Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
