I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
