This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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