There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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