dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
