her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Randomize
