The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Randomize
