Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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