and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
