I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
