Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
