I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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