That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Randomize
