people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
