he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Randomize
