My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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