I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
