So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
