if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
