I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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