i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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