Cold hands, warm shart.
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
