so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
