i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
