Can i not drive my cunt home
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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