The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
