umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
