If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Randomize
