I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I cockslap morals
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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