so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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