i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
