Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Randomize
