umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
