I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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