I miss vodka workout Fridays
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
