sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
