Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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