After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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