Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
