we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Randomize
