She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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