dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
