Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
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