I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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