if you like me you must not know who I am
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Come share oat with me in your robe
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
