can we get nightvision for the apartment?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
