So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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